I Am the n of 1

Are you getting the COVID vaccine?

That decision was made for some people well in advance of the release of the vaccines. Some people heard what the needed to hear from corporate media outlets, while others heard the directives from state and local government officials. Once the vaccines were released, they did what the needed to do to find and secure their doses, even if some of the tactics used might be considered by some to be questionable. I would never “out” anyone, but I have, between my husband and I questioned the tactics of some people we know.

Many people did what I have done and spoke with their primary care physician, or a specialist, who has provided personal care for them. Ideally those doctors have done their due diligence as medical professionals and have looked at the available date regarding vaccines and can make appropriate recommendations to their patients. Several of my family members sought input from their primary care provider. My doctor gave me her feedback on the subject and answered one particular question I had asked her regarding antibody testing.

For some getting the vaccine was never a question. Many people were eager, if not desperate, to be vaccinated. For others, the vaccine is out of the question. For many of us, the vaccine is a difficult question without a satisfactory answer.

Even though I spoke with my doctor, with whom I have had a professional relationship as her patient for more than 15 years, and even though I have done a great deal of reading, even though I have taken the time to do a risk benefit analysis, I still have not come to a conclusion that I find to be convincing.

People would wonder why I could possibly do anything other than step in line and roll up my sleeve. Techniques vary between near bribery, like a promise for a return to all of the things we love and miss if we get our shots, to berating the questioning. The Detroit Free Press recently ran an article in which a nurse who works at St. Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ann Arbor angrily chided local residents guaranteeing that they will either choose the vaccine or end up on her floor with the virus.

For me, bribery that comes from the government, especially the government of this state, is just another lie, or at best another goal post that will ultimately be moved, just as goal posts have been moved since “two weeks to flatten the curve,” now well over a year ago.

The threat of an angry nurse, well I don’t want to be too judgmental. She is likely very frustrated. I volunteered, completed observation hours, and even worked for a short, dark period at St. Joe’s in Ann Arbor. I was a central monitor tech, watching assigned monitor pods of patients who were on telemetry units throughout the hospital. I know that CMTs and nurses alike work 12 hour shifts with only one 30 minute break. I found that to be ridiculous then, and I still find it to be ridiculous. Do you want the people who are responsible for your care to be walking around half awake: Probably not.

Even understanding that level of fatigue and frustration, the morality associated with getting, or not getting, this virus, and now with getting, or not getting, the vaccine is bizarre. People don’t direct the level of animosity that they direct at people who get the virus or reject the vaccine, even temporarily, toward people who get any other infection, even an STI!

Still other people wonder how I could even consider taking the vaccine, based on everything from my faith to my libertarian-leaning political philosophy.

My worldview does call me to consider everything in light of the faith to which I adhere, but I rarely find that faith is in conflict with modern medicine. Those instances are rare, though they would be significant should they arise.

I am aware of the of the PerC6 cells that were used in creation of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine that are not components of the mRNA vaccines. Those for whom the components, mechanisms of testing, or any other consideration, are a matter of conscience should take those things seriously and should have the freedom to follow their conscience and to make the choice that they believe to be morally correct.

I have personally taken vaccines and shots since I was young. I used to go weekly for a shot to treat my seasonal allergies, and I quite frankly would do it again as successful as that treatment was.

My libertarian philosophy, that is a challenge. After having evaluated much of the evidence surrounding the government’s response to the virus, note that language – not the virus itself, but the government’s response especially in states like Michigan that are still not open and still mandating behavior, I have come to the conclusion that many government officials are not remotely following the science but are making random decisions that are at best inept and at worst sinister power grabs. Evidence is emerging in our state in court that this was indeed the case in Michigan.

Ultimately, even though I have done my due diligence, that I do whenever I am prescribed anything new or hear or read about anything new – even natural products, I am wary. I am wary like I always am before accepting or taking anything new because I am the n of 1.

No one else, not politicians nor virtuous, vaccination proponents nor angry nurses nor my doctor herself, however well-meaning she is, knows exactly how the vaccines would affect me.

If the decision regarding the vaccine was easy for you, either for or against, you are among the fortunate ones in some ways.

Understand though that whatever your decision, the most important thing is that you have the right to make your decision, to do your own risk-benefit assessment. Each individual should maintain that right, whether or not the decision that another person makes is the one that you would make, and no government agency should compel an individual to choose as you would have them choose.

Not only is there no government entity in existence that is capable of making a risk-benefit assessment for each of its citizens, but also there is no government entity that has the moral foundation from which to make those kinds of choices for the individual.

If you took the vaccine but were hesitant, or if you haven’t taken the vaccine and may do so at some point, or if you have declined it after much consideration, then you too understand the conundrum of being the n of 1.