The Letter “T”

The arrival of June brings with it both the beginning of meteorological summer as well as the summer solstice, or “the longest day of the year” We envision sunshine, beaches, camping trips, lunches on patios – and pride celebrations.

In 2000 President Clinton declared June “Gay and Lesbian Pride Month” to commemorate riots that had occurred in Manhattan in June of 1969. President Obama expanded the scope during his presidency and deemed June “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month.”

As pride month has progressed, I have spent some time researching the topic of transgender people, children in particular.

Why? I’m not entirely sure, except to say that this relatively small percentage of the population seemed to be making a lot of noise lately in specific incidents in particular, and to be a lot less civil and tolerant than what they expect other people to be as it relates to them, their views, and their choices.

Still, I started to wonder, during this month of June, who are these people really?

To that end, I have watched TED Talks by parents of trans children; by a child of a trans parent; by a proponent of gender fluidity, presentations by doctors; including the president of the American College of Pediatricians Dr. Michelle Cretella; presentations by panels including child and adolescent psychiatrists; and, I listened to trans teens tell their stories themselves; some of them had transitioned completely.

I have included the links to several of the TED videos and panel discussions in order to present the depth of the varied perspectives that I sought on this topic. Because I do indeed have thoughts and questions about being transgender, I wanted to look at the topic from as many angles as I could.

There are some who label anyone who has questions as “trans phobic,” or a hater, or a bigot. Whether it’s on this topic, or nearly every other topic, I choose to do my own research and reach my own conclusions. I choose not to simply accept whatever someone tells me as fact; I choose not to be that gullible.

I found that this issue is incredibly complicated, but at the root of it all is a person.

One would think that the conflict revolves around sex versus gender, but that is not entirely that case. I went into my research with the viewpoint, and still hold to the viewpoint, that sex is not randomly assigned but rather is genetically encoded in each person. Though the expression of and exposure to certain hormones impacts people in different ways, sex is not changeable . I believe that the evidence supports this position, though there are people who do argue to the contrary.

Gender identity is an entirely different proposition. There are some who do postulate that gender is, much like sex, set in place before birth, on both sides of this issue actually. But then many people, whether PhD level psychologists, sociologists, or parents of trans kids, tell us that gender is a sociological construct.

In one talk by the mother of a trans child, she shared that she wonders why it is now more acceptable for girls to be “Tom Boys” than it is for boys to like traditionally feminine things. I can see her point to an extent. Yet after defending boys who like girls toys and things, as her four year old son did, she said near the end of her story that she knew she was losing her son, and in a way she always knew she would, but she knew she was gaining a daughter. And her child had, at that time, made the decision to transition socially with the parents support.

While she challenged the gender stereotype, it seems she addressed the situation by feeding into it in a way, by living out the scenario that they chose: if my son likes feminine things, then he must be a girl trapped in a boy’s body as he currently believes he is.

One of my sisters has three children, a girl, a boy, and another girl. I remember one of the first times my oldest niece talked to me on the phone. She told me she had climbed higher in the tree than her friend Austin. Her mom got on the phone when she was done and said that indeed her daughter did climb higher in that tree. I know that I never had the thought, and I believe I’m safe in saying that my sister never had the thought that, “I’m losing a daughter but gaining a son” simply because my niece liked to climb trees. Now a 20 year old, my niece still has the “Tom Boy” personality, but she also seems to have developed an affinity for shopping.

My sister didn’t get a “girly girl” with her first daughter, but it seems like she did with her second. I just talked to my nine year old niece on the phone this week. She told me about perfume she had gotten from her sister for Christmas, and that she likes perfume. Her birthday just passed, and I saw a lot of pink in her birthday party pictures. But when her brother visited from college recently, he was working with her on catching a baseball in her glove.

So my “Tom Boy” niece can like to shop, and my girly niece can like to play outside with her brother. We’re all made up of bits and pieces of things that are more typically feminine and more typically masculine. And from my point of view, that’s definitely okay.

It is in part based on these experiences, and on my own experience being nothing like a girly girl yet being able to pursue the things that I wanted to pursue, even coming from a rather traditional background, that I still question the concept of trans.
Yes, I did say I believe that sex is fixed and separates humans into male and female, but we seem to have made significant progress as it relates to breaking down gender stereotypes that create barriers to people being who they are and doing the things that they were born to do. Given that people are more free now to choose their interests and career pursuits based on factors other than sex, I wonder why people feel the need to make such a dramatic change.

The significance of this change, and the consequences that are yet to be determined in the long term, is another area in which I still question the concept of transitioning gender, particularly in the case of children and adolescents.

Some say the lmterruption to puberty brought about by hormone blockers is reversible. It seems that the research at this point supports the conclusion that some changes actually are not reversible. It is almost certain that sterility, the result of cross-sex hormones that are the next phase of transition, is permanent. And, though some people do de-transition later in life, the results of the gender reassignment surgeries are dramatic and nearly fixed, and risks are definitely present as they are with any surgical procedure.

Several medical and psychiatric experts in the field of pediatrics support the watchful waiting position. That position is often referred to as trans phobic by certain members of that community, however I believe it is wise.

How many of us have the exact same interests and viewpoints that we had as teenagers? How many of us have grown significantly from the time we were teenagers, hopefully all of us.

While it is not viewed as such, I do tend to agree that the watchful waiting position is also compassionate. I also believe that those who struggle in this area should be able to get the assistance they need. No, not “conversion therapy,” but an unbiased psychiatric assessment.

I fail to comprehend why it is deemed as anything other than rational to ask a young person in this position to work through the reasons why it is that they believe they cannot live their life in the body that they have.

The psychiatrist on the panel discussion that is linked below tells of a teenage patient who was born female and wanted to transition to male. While speaking with her regarding her intended decision, he found out that she had been sexually assaulted. He asked if she had ever talked to anyone about that incident. She told him she had not. He asked her if she would like to, and she said that she thought it would be a good idea to talk about it. He does not reveal whether or not that patient went ahead with the transition.

The point is that, whether or not she transitioned, she had to deal with that pain. If she had gone down the currently accepted path of puberty blocking drugs and ultimately gender reassignment surgery, she would still have that trauma to deal with, and maybe it would take years for her to deal with it if she had just moved on through the transition process without anyone ever having taken the time to ask “why.”

Through all of the information I have gathered on this topic, and the conclusions I have reached, I came to realize that there are people at the heart of this issue, some people who are deeply hurting.

I would encourage everyone to remember that regardless of your position on the topic.

I have not addressed this from a faith based perspective, though most of my readers know that my worldview is a Christian worldview. I did listen to a talk by a Texas pastor who coincidentally was doing something similar to what I have done. His juxtaposition was interesting; it might surprise some people.

What I would say in conclusion to those who share a Christian worldview is that if you view yourself as superior to anyone who is dealing with these concerns, you might want to reevaluate your perspective. Scripture tells us that even our righteousness can become as filthy rags in God’s sight. That statement is humbling, and it would be disheartening were it not for Jesus, the cross, and grace.

Whenever we encounter people that we may not quite understand may we remember to show the grace and love that Jesus modeled for us all, even if it’s not returned by those who may not care to understand us. One thing that we all have in common though is that we all want someone to care.