Misdirected

We’ve all been lied to at some point in our lives.

Some lies are told intentionally, and some lies are spread because it is believed that the statement that ends up being a lie is actually the way things are, or should be. Still the result is the same; the person on the receiving end of the lie feels betrayed.

One lie that has gained substantial traction goes something like this:

If you’re a stellar student in high school, you’ll get into a good college. If you excel in your college courses and graduate summa cum laude, you’ll be attractive to the top companies, and you’ll certainly get a job in your chosen field. If you exceed expectations for your employer, you’ll climb up that corporate ladder. You’ll then work for that top-notch company until such time as you receive that gold watch upon your retirement 40 years later.

Most of us know by now that life doesn’t work that way. This particular untruth may have been more true in times past than it is now, but it has never been completely the case that merit alone will take us where we want to be, or that any number of unforeseen circumstances cannot derail our best laid plans.

The intention of this blog post is not to discourage making the most of one’s high school education, nor is it to discourage attending college and having career aspiration. Rather, the intention is to share that, no matter what traits you heard would help you land the best jobs or achieve your highest career goals, the traits that seem to matter most in life are flexibility and adaptability.

Anyone who finds herself traveling down that arrow straight road from high school to college to the ideal job in which she stays until retirement is the rare person indeed.

And anyone who finds himself taking the job he wanted right after college, marrying his high school sweetheart, being a great dad to one boy and one girl, and retiring at age 62 to spend his days traveling with his lovely bride of 40 years is indeed fortunate.

Having a plan is more than ideal; it’s necessary most of the time to prevent wasted time, and often wasted money as well – especially as it relates to academic pursuits. However, it is important to be prepared to make adjustments, even to the best laid plans – and sometimes in a very short period of time.

Many of us are among the people who have found a job, and maybe even in our career field, only to find that corporate mergers, right sizing, and other circumstances beyond our control have left us suddenly unemployed.

When that happens, we can find ourselves in a situation where everything from physical limitations to outdated skill sets to degrees that are considered basically useless, have left us far, far off the road that we thought we would be on.

If you’re young and just starting out, I believe that considering the validity of the lie that promises a straight road to the perfect life can go a long way toward helping you to avoid becoming bitter and frustrated when the road turns unexpectedly – and while I don’t want to lie to you, I can say with near certainty that the road will twist and turn for nearly everyone.

It’s hard to expect the unexpected. The very nature of something being unexpected means that you don’t know what will change, or when, or how. But in knowing things will change, you can try to remain open.

I said earlier that flexibility and adaptability are very valuable traits. By not having a plan to which you are completely locked in, you can be more accepting of alternative outcomes. Flexibility and adaptability also leave you open to occasionally being the one who initiates the change. Just because you started down a certain road does not mean you are bound to travel that road forever; life is likely to throw you the twists and turns, but you can choose to turn off as well.

As an adult in the middle of life, it might be wise for me to take my own advice. I expect with near certainty that more changes remain in store for me. Some of them are changes that I would like to drive to move me in the direction that I want to go. Some are likely to be those unforeseen things that may not take me where I wanted to go.

Flexibility and adaptability can allow us to remain open to possibilities at any age. Having faced the reality that life isn’t the smooth and straight road we may have been told that it would be can leave us cynical, resentful, and fearful.

Obligations and circumstances beyond our control will always be part of life. Ultimately it’s important that what we see ahead is an open road rather than a road that leads straight to a single destination.