Tee It Up!

“I ain’t never seen nothin’ like that my whole life Sir!”

While the grammar was lacking, the quote, with its pure exuberance, is still one of the most adorable sports quotes I’ve heard. It was given by a freshman after his successful debut, that included scoring a touchdown, in response to the interviewer’s question regarding what it was like for the young player to run out of the tunnel and step on to the playing field at “The Big House” for his first game.

Though I certainly don’t play football for the University of Michigan Wolverine’s, I have had the privilege of running though that tunnel and on to the field at Michigan Stadium. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was about to finish the 10k run in a time that is still my 10k PR. All I knew when I entered the tunnel was that my knee was hurting quite a bit, and I was glad that I would soon be done running.

As I got into the tunnel, I could hear The Victors playing loudly over the speaker. I got goose bumps and little tears in my eyes all at the same time. It was such an amazing adrenaline rush.

Though the stadium was not filled with 110,000 plus fans on race day, I was still greeted by some cheers from the enthusiastic spectators leaning over the stands looking for their runners to emerge from the tunnel.

I ran around the corner and stepped on to the field. The sun was shining and made the beautiful maize and blue letters that spell out MICHIGAN that much more stunning against the perfect, deep green grass. I crossed the finish line at the 50 yard line and passed over the famous block M, maize in the center and outlined by the deep blue.

Having an experience like that was fun for me. I have been a Michigan football fan nearly all of my life.

Saturdays in the fall do not have dates for me; they hold the names of two teams, one of which will always be Michigan – with the exception of that sad day that is the bye week – and the other will be the name of the team with whom they will compete. Sometimes the name of the other team is enough, especially on a rivalry week, like “Michigan State week,” or “Ohio State week.”

Those Saturdays are even more special. It’s like the day is set aside in preparation for the big event. I know the time the game will start; the channel the game will be on; what we’re going to eat; and even what I’m going to wear.

Who am I kidding. It’s like that for every game.

In our house, the preparation begins mid summer. My husband finds out the date that the Phil Steele College Football Preview magazine will be released, and then we make a pilgrimage to go get it. Actually, there are plenty of places to get a copy in Ann Arbor, though this year the local Barnes and Noble didn’t have it, but Wal-Mart did, all the way in the back of the store on a small rack of magazines. But we found it.

Once he has acquired the magazine, he studies it occasionally up to football season, and we discuss it often in preparation for the upcoming matchups so that we are informed and ready to go when the season begins.

With the first game just two days away, I have already started the preparation. I know that Michigan will take on Florida at 3:30 on ABC, likely courtesy of ESPN. I also know that we’re going to have “white chili; it’s a chili I make using chicken, onions, garlic, white beans, and jalapeno garnished with cilantro and lime wedges. I’ll start it about an hour before game time so that it can simmer while we watch the first half. And my Michigan apparel is ready to be worn again this season.

To those of you who are not college football fans, this near obsession may seem strange. I will tell you that I have always been, and will always be, a “tom boy,” a sports fan, and a competitive person. I enjoy competition myself, and I enjoy watching it. While there are many sports I enjoy, there is nothing quite like college football.

I have had the chance to sit among the often record-setting crowds at Michigan stadium and watch the action live a few times in my life. I have had the amazing opportunity to watch the University of Michigan marching band march in. I’ve seen them make the perfect block M on the field. The atmosphere is amazing.

Even though I prefer to watch games at home on our fabulous TV, or on the TVs of friends or family, the energy comes right though the screen – the bands, the fans, the noise, the intensity of the teams getting ready to play for the win, eating good food, complaining about the calls, celebrating the wins, and grousing about the losses – for me college football is several Saturdays in autumn that are just plain fun!

On Saturday, the chili will be simmering in the pot. I will be dressed in maize and blue, and the TV will be on – and likely loud. An official will place the ball on that tee, and my heart rate will increase just a little bit as we wait for the first kick off of the 2017 Michigan football season.  Go Blue!

Besties in Adulthood?

Do you remember your best friend when you were five years old?

Friendships in elementary school seem kind of easy to me now, from this perspective some thirty-five or more years later. You sat with your best friend at lunch, played with your best friend at recess, and begged your parents to let your best friend spend the night at your house.

As you got just a little older, you found out that your best friend needed to be the right person if you wanted to be accepted by the coolest people at school. Though the definition of the “right” person was arbitrary and often changeable, you may have found yourself trying to comply. You might have avoided the quieter people, the people who didn’t have the money for name brand clothes, the nerds, or anyone else deemed the wrong kind of person by those who presented themselves as being in the know about such things.

Maybe you grew out of the phase of trying to please the cool people fairly early on; I did. Maybe you even mocked the cool people a little bit. Maybe you were willing to get into it with the cool people on occasion; we did. Or maybe you were the cool person,

Whatever type of people we were in school, the older we got, the more complicated the relationships seemed to become.

Some of you may still have friendships from your school days. if you graduated from high school fairly recently, you may still keep in touch with several school friends. For those of us whose school days are long behind us, those friendships are rarer in many cases.

I was very pleased when I got a Facebook friend request from one of my earliest friends. We attended a private school together. The first year of the school’s operation was our kindergarten year. Many of us went through our entire elementary years together. We had hoped that our core group could stay together all the way to high school graduation, as part of the first class to go from K to senior year in that school. But for several of us, that didn’t happen. My family moved away after my seventh grade year.

Still, it was great to hear from my elementary school friend and to reconnect in a way after all of these years. She lives near some members of my family, particularly my family in law, and I’m hoping we can get together in person one day soon.

She is the only friend from that part of my past with whom I have had any contact. I have remained in contact with some of my high school peers, over the miles and again through Facebook. I am still in contact with my best friend from high school. Though we chat online on occasion, we usually only get together once or twice a year. That makes me kind of sad.

She has a very full and busy life, as most people do in adulthood. Though I believe that most of us have grown beyond choosing friends based on their perceived coolness or what they can do for us, I think friendships are more complicated in adulthood than at any other point in life.

My closest friends in the past eleven years since I have been married is a group of woman who “met” on an iVillage forum called The Running Women. I don’t even know if that forum exists any longer, but a core group of the women from the group formed a private group elsewhere on social media, and many of us still check in and even converse daily.

Several years ago, we arranged to meet to run a half marathon in Virginia, and so we did; about twenty-five of us rented two large cottages and ran or walked the inaugural Virginia Wine Country Half Marathon. One of the most interesting things was that, when we met in person, it wasn’t really like meeting at all.

About a dozen of us got together on the east coast to run again about two years after the big meet-up. Several members of the group live in closer proximity to each other and can see each other in person more often. Other members of the group have traveled to run the same race and have spent time together while doing so.

Sometimes, we used to talk about our friends “in real life,” but these ladies have been my friends in real life, in good times and in tough times.

While I truly love my running women friends, I miss not having face to face, drinking coffee, eating good food, shopping for something fun together friendships with other women. We often say we wished we lived closer to each other.

I do have a couple of friends that I see on occasion for lunch, and I enjoy their company. And when I returned to college as an adult student, I met another adult student who lives less than a mile from me, and she and I have kept in touch even though we are now done with our degrees. I’m glad for her friendship.

Between the concerns of having children in school, parents in need of more care than they once did, and the demands of jobs, I know women are extremely busy in our culture. Still I see the pictures on social media of dinner parties, girl’s nights out, and concerts, and I wonder why I don’t have that in my life.

I think that part of it might be me needing to put myself into places where I can meet women with whom I might form friendships. I am aware that my personality is that of an introvert, but I recently saw the meme “What happens on girl’s night out stays with the girls,” and thought I could definitely use some of that kind of fun in my life – some flavorful, high calorie food and beverage, some fabulous clothes, some good music, some inside jokes…that would be excellent once in a while.

While friendships certainly are not the same as when we were five years old, I believe that they are certainly as important when we’re forty-five years old, maybe even more.

 

 

Listen for the Quiet Voices

I have made it a point on my social media accounts to remain as apolitical as possible, for many reasons.

Political “discussions” on social media often digress at an alarming pace into a rapid fire exchange of typed words in which adults start to engage in name calling and swearing that would cause a child to question their behavior.

While I made it through one of the most uncivil election seasons that I can remember without posting politically on my Facebook page or Twitter accounts, I am finding it increasingly difficult to hold back at this point.

As I did during the campaign season and shortly thereafter, I will convey some of my thoughts in this blog post where I have the opportunity to develop my thoughts more completely than the Twitter equivalent of a soundbite allows for.

Events that have occurred within the last few weeks have caused angst for even the most politically central among us. Even without the baiting headlines and provocative coverage thrust upon us by media outlets, these events cannot help but stir some significant human emotions.

I found myself to be very frustrated because I do believe that the right to “free speech” and the right to assemble are integral to what sets America apart, yet I vehemently disagree with some of the messages that are freely spoken.

As I pondered this disconcerting issue, I realized that standing for freedom of speech is neither a show of support for the cause nor an endorsement of the ideology being conveyed in many cases, but rather strictly a support for the right of others to the same freedoms that I expect to enjoy myself.

The same is true for the freedom to assemble, though I often wonder what the intended outcome is of those who gather – what tangible results they hope to achieve through their frequent assembling. I also realize that these things that are required to be “peaceful” are often anything but, especially at this contentious time in our country.

In addition to being able to support freedom of speech and the right to assemble, I also support one other very important component of rights, for some an unpopular component of enjoying rights, and that is responsibility. I would go beyond that to add that I support accountability as well.

People who shirk their responsibility and incite violence while exercising their rights to speak and to assemble, or who actually engage in violence, should experience the appropriate consequences for their actions. And for the determination of appropriate consequences, I support due process.

Major media outlets will not scrutinize the words within my blog post, and for that I suppose I am grateful. Yet I’m not opposed to some scrutiny because I know who I am, and I know what I believe. While I support free speech and the rights of assembly and due process, I also vehemently oppose the message of those who gather to express any form of superiority over another group of human beings.

While there are many reasons that I could cite, I will go directly to the source of wisdom for my worldview: “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him….” Genesis 1:27, and from that point forward there are several references in scripture stating that humans were created in the image of God. How then could anyone who claims faith in God view another human being, that was created in God’s own image, as someone of lesser value.

For those of us who are sisters and brothers in Christ, we must remember: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28. For God’s sake, let us please keep racism, classism, and sexism out of His church.

Even though we as Christians share a common bond through our faith, we must be careful not to engage in what sociologists describe as the “tribal” mentality that causes groups to cloister and to foster concepts of superiority. On the contrary, our beliefs should motivate us to be among the first to act out of openness and love and to be live the life of service to others that Jesus modeled during his time here on earth.

This country is incredibly divided it seems. It’s hard to tell actually how divided it actually is given the media’s vulgar intent to either foster or to create division based on race, political affiliation, sexual orientation, or based on coastal residents versus the residents of “flyover country,” people of faith versus – any number of groups, and the intellectually superior versus the “deplorables” (By the way, lets call that mindset what it really is.).

Still there is some cause for concern and for the stirring of those difficult emotions that have arisen within many of us, not only the past few weeks but within the last 18 months or more.

It is not through the shouting of the outliers on the right at the outliers on the left that this nation will find unity and healing. It is through our willingness to speak with a variety of people face to face in the quiet confines of the places where we work, worship, volunteer, and gather socially, and through our truly getting to know them, that we will find the sense of unity and community that most of us sincerely desire.

 

 

 

 

Sweet & Savory Summertime

It was around this time of year about seven years ago when my sister called me from northern Michigan. One of her first questions was, “have you had any tornado warnings this week?”

During that particular summer we had severe weather that would warrant the sounding of the sirens literally every other week. With three counties converging near our neighborhood, and one being less than a half mile away, not only did we hear the siren for our county, but we also got to hear it for the other counties on occasion as well.

While the sound of the siren doesn’t really become mundane, especially in the night when it seems even more eerie in that dark stillness that precedes most severe storms, it was something that we had come to accept that summer.

With the exception of the first Saturday of the month test, we have yet to hear the sirens for severe weather this summer. That is a good thing of course, but I must say that I miss the summer storms. We have had a few, but very few.

I enjoy those warm, gray days when the thunder rolls in the distance for several hours, and when I can open the windows and “listen to the rhythm of the fallin’ rain,” cheesy though it may be. I miss seeing the lightning from miles away against the darkening night sky, and I miss falling asleep to the sound of a much-needed night rain landing on the sun-dried ground.

The absence of those rainy days has given us plenty of opportunity to get out and enjoy the summer sun this year though, and many days have been pleasant rather than oppressive.

I know some of my friends like it hot, but that’s not my thing. I do enjoy being out in the sun for short periods of time, but if the day is sunny, I prefer the temperature to be about 80 degrees (or slightly cooler), and I love overnight temperatures in the 50s.

Summer is different things to different people. For those of us who live in northern and eastern states where the seasons are more clearly defined, summer is definitely a chance to shed the layers and to get out and see the light of the sun and to feel its warmth on our skin.

Another thing the summer means for those of us in states without year ’round growing seasons is that we can enjoy some fresh foods.

As July begins, we start to look forward to that one, special day – a day that really could be described as Christmas in July. It’s the day that Block’s opens.

Block’s Stand and Greenhouse does open for a few weeks in May for flower days, but it’s not until mid July when the sweet corn is ready that Block’s is really open.

We look forward to walking into the partially open-air market and seeing the wagons that have been pulled in by the tractors, some of which remain in the building still attached to their wagons, piled high with corn, surrounded by people jockeying for a position to dig through those piles and find the best and sweetest ears to fill their bags.

Beyond the usually four wagons of corn that sit near the front, right side of the big market, are baskets and baskets of peppers also grown on Block’s property. Some are the color of the sunset, but despite their orange and red hues, they’re not hot at all. Others may be lighter shades of yellow, but their aroma gives away the secret of their spiciness as you approach their baskets.

Though I am not a big fan of green beans personally, I like to watch the people gathered around large bins of green, wax, and poll beans digging through to find the right ones for their pots of beans and ham or beans and potatoes.

Potatoes are one of the reasons I enjoy going to Block’s early in their season. The little Michigan potatoes still have the dirt from the ground they’re grown in all over them, but once cleaned and cooked, they are soft and fluffy and need nothing more than a little real butter, because they are real food at its best.

Block’s, like so many other places in Michigan in summer, also has an abundance of summer squash and zucchini. We actually often buy ours from a guy about a mile away. He has had zucchini of all sizes, from the smaller ones perfect for chopping into half moons to sautée with onions for a simple summer side, to the big ones that make a great chocolate zucchini bread. Last year, he just gave us two of the big ones. We had four loaves of chocolate zucchini bread in the freezer. It was great when my family came to stay with us. I could thaw a loaf and set it out to go with breakfast.

And then there are tomatoes. Though my maternal grandma loved to eat tomatoes, raw with a little salt, I never really loved them. We ate them as part of sauces and things growing up, but we never had them raw in our home. My mom doesn’t like them raw at all, though I am more tolerant of them in salads and such than she is.

It wasn’t until my husband had a little luck with growing some of our own tomatoes that I actually started to appreciate them. The best came from an heirloom tomato plant for which we had purchased the seeds locally. The tomatoes were quite interesting in color, deep green mixed with crimson red, but their flavor was amazing. When I tried a slice, I knew that was what a tomato is supposed to taste like.

Though we grow some tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, and some herbs, we have Block’s for everything from that first summer sweet corn to fresh lettuces, sweet onions, mushrooms, eggplant, melons, blueberries and strawberries during the summer, and for squash, root vegetable, and apples in the fall.

I appreciate summer for all that it gives us, a chance to step out into sun-drenched days, to listen to the thunder in the distance as the daylight fades, and to eat some of the best foods that our own gardens and local fields can give us. As I look forward to autumn, definitely my favorite season in Michigan, I’ll try not to be too quick to wish away summer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At A Loss

We joined the crowd hurrying a bit to get inside of Crisler Arena on a cold Sunday afternoon in February. The University of Michigan Wolverines women’s gymnastics team would be taking on the top ranked Oklahoma Sooners.

Women’s gymnastics meets at U of M generally draw crowds of about 2000. On that day, the crowd was a little larger than usual. Not only was Oklahoma ranked number one in the nation, but they also have two gymnasts on their team who, in 2016, were national team members who had competed in the US Olympic Trials.

The fans knew, as did the Wolverines, that they would be seeing two gymnasts who were nearly Olympians in Brenna Dowell and Maggie Nichols.

Michigan has two of their own former national team members on their squad, and the Wolverines have been successful in the Big Ten and in regional competition for years. They came up only .050 short in their meet against OU on that February Sunday.

There are few, if any, sports that I can think of in which a team, or a player, is not well aware of who their competitors are, of what the competitor’s strengths are, and of areas where the competition may be lacking.

After competing in the game of job searching for nearly three long years now, I have found that one of the most frustrating things about the process is the fact that I am rarely, if ever, aware of who my competition is. In fact, I often don’t really even know the rules, or the final result of the game.

While competitors like the Michigan Wolverines watched those young women compete for a spot on the 2016 Olympic team and knew what kind of gymnasts they were long before they saw them on meet day at Crisler, I have no idea what credentials or experience my competition brings on interview day, or what experience they have that may eliminate me before I even get an interview.

Two times in the last year, I was waiting my turn for an interview and saw the person who was interviewing before me. On the first occasion, the interview was taking place just on the other side of a door in a little room where I was instructed to wait my turn. Through the thin, inner door, I heard both the interviewers questions and the candidate’s answers.

That experience was likely to be the closest I will get in having an advantage, in that I heard the exact questions before I had to answer them. The problem in that case was that the interview was for a paraprofessional position within a school district, and I have no experience in education. I had acted upon the false information that one needs no experience in the classroom to get hired as a para.

In the second instance where I actually saw my competition, I was sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for my turn to interview for a front desk job, and I detected, by her dress and the fact that we were the only two, other than hotel staff, in the vicinity, that she was waiting to be interviewed as well. She was indeed, and she was called in ahead of me.

In that case, I was not near the interview area and was not aware of what her experience level was, or of what her answers to the questions were. I do know that when I was called in to “interview,” nearly 30 minutes late, I was only with the manager for about 10 minutes, if that, but the woman who had interviewed before me was only in the office for about 10 minutes as well.

Those are rare instances though. Generally when it comes to the fight for jobs, I will never know who my competition is.

Not only do I never know anything of substance about my competition, but it seems I rarely know the rules of the game.

It was last summer that I went through the para phase, and I interviewed three times during that phase. It seemed clear to me that my lack of experience in academia hurt me during two of the three interviews.

That’s why I was quite amazed to find out who had been chosen for one of the open para positions. I realize I had said I don’t know my competition, and I didn’t. I was not aware until after the fact that this person had interviewed and had been chosen for one of the jobs. We’re not friends; I know the person through a family member.

So if it wasn’t lack of experience that cost me the job, what was it? Well, it likely was still a lack of experience in my case. I didn’t get a pass like the friend of the family member who just happens to know someone in the district offices.

So it’s still not what you know; it’s who you know? I expect that’s the case sometimes, but not all of the time.

Even in the most honest of interview processes, and even when I do advanced research and arrive as prepared as I can be for an interview, it’s hard to know exactly what the employer wants, what information to highlight, and what information to downplay or leave out.

Even though I study current interview trends, it’s hard to know what exactly one is looking for in an answer to those tricky interview questions.

Not only is it hard to determine what the rules of the game are for each interview, but it’s also hard to determine the outcome, initially. Eventually, I just figure it out.

Last night, I opened an email from a salon and spa that said that I did not have the right qualifications for their front desk position, and that they were sorry for the “disappointing news.” I told my husband I wanted to punch someone after reading that email. Two college degrees, and they think their little desk job is my dream job…seriously. However, and this is an important however, they were professional enough to communicate their decision with me, only a few days after I had applied, and without my interviewing for the position.

That kind of communication is incredibly rare.

Within the last few months, I have had in person interviews with two chiropractic clinics in my area, and I never received communication from either, even after the follow-up on my part.

I had an interview at the University of Michigan last week, a second interview. I was told by my interviewers that I would hear on Friday of last week regarding their decision, but I haven’t. I’m expecting to get the email from HR telling me I didn’t get the job, but I’m just wondering if it will be before August 14th, the date given for the start date of the position. I doubt it.

This post may seem to you to have some bitter tones in it. It does.

The thing is, it’s hard enough to lose, but not knowing to whom I lost, or more importantly why I lost is frustrating. And not being told that I lost, but knowing that I did – that’s just maddening.