On Easter Sunday

It had been several years since I had actually eaten a paczki, a filled donut type of pastry said to have been concocted to use all of the baking products in a house prior to the beginning of Lent. This February, I was preparing for Lent, and I was actually excited.

On the Monday before “Fat Tuesday,” the day people eat paczkis and anything else they want before Ash Wednesday, my husband and I had visited a large Italian market. There he bought a “cannoli filling” paczki for me. After sharing the paczki, and a blueberry one, I was prepared to observe Lent again this year.

Though a Protestant Christian, I have observed Lent for several years, as we were encouraged to participate in our own ways by the pastors of the Free Methodist church where we are members.

I had high hopes for a new beginning, new direction, perhaps a renewing of my commitment to the Lord. I was excited for Easter as well. I was hoping that something amazing might happen. Even as the new year had begun, my hopeful spirit had returned, and I had sensed something big. Perhaps the arrival of a new decade, as well as a new year, had given me that sense.

I could never have imagined that the “something big” would be a global pandemic.

We were among a group of perhaps 35 people in church’s worship center that can seat about 250 people on Sunday, March 15. As we participated in that service, I thought about Easter. The songs we sang that day started to point us in that direction. Lent is also designed to point us in the direction of Easter.

My thoughts turned to an Easter Sunday two years earlier. After having read a Lenten devotional by Tim Keller that led readers from the trials of a sin-cursed world in Genesis, to the prophets’ foretelling of a Savior, to the Gospels where we read of the final sacrifice of Christ on the cross, it was a powerful experience. I was excited to walk into church that Easter Sunday and to celebrate the risen Savior.

I had been praying since the beginning of this Lent for something like that to happen for me again this Easter.

On that last Sunday we were together in person, during his prayer our pastor had thanked God for “the brave people who came here today, and for those who are watching at home. (He) believes each person is where God wants them to be today.” I was indeed feeling brave, hopeful, and confident on that day. I knew then it was “a God thing.” I don’t know that “brave” is a word that many would use to describe me. It’s not a word I would use to describe myself.

But as this crisis wears on, as emergency “shelter in place” orders continue, and as numbers of the confirmed cases continue to rise – even as one would expect with expanded testing, my bravery has at times turned to anxiety, my hope to despondence, and my confidence to desperation.

In 1 Corinthians 15:13 & 14 Paul told the church that if there was no resurrection then his preaching was in vain, and their faith and their hope – and our faith and our hope – was in vain. But in verse 20, he reaffirmed that Christ was indeed raised from the dead.

Through my Lenten studies and through my pray time, I sense that God is asking me if I truly believe there was a resurrection.

It was easy on that Easter Sunday two years ago as I walked into our church with joyous expectation. The day was beautiful. The praise team was excellent. Spirits were high as we celebrated our resurrected Savior, with no thought that life’s normal could be torn away from us like it has been these past few weeks.

It’s when just living life gets difficult that we have to turn to the living hope. 1 Peter 1:3 says: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to his great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

I’ve liked the Phil Wickham song “Living Hope” since I first heard it. “The work is finished. The end is written Jesus Christ my living hope.”

It was very dark in this world when the religious leaders who had sought to kill Jesus succeeded via the Roman government. But Jesus Christ changed the course of human history when he stepped out of the grave three days later, giving hope to the world then and for the rest of time.

With things looking as dark as they do in our world right now, hope can be hard to find. Still I’ve been praying that Christ will bring hope to the world once again in some wonderful way this Easter. We expect that we will not be able to worship together in our churches, but only God knows what will actually happen on Easter 2020. Regardless, we know what happened over 2000 years ago.

“Then came the morning that sealed the promise. Your buried body began to breathe. Out of the silence, the Roaring Lion declared the grave has no claim on me. Jesus yours is the victory! Jesus Christ, my living hope….”

Shining Moments Missed

My eyes were open, looking up at the pale blue sky through the long window above our bed. I wasn’t dreaming, but I felt like I had awakened in someone else’s nightmare – yet again.

The weeks are starting to seem like months as the nightmare trudges across the country, stealing opportunities and crushing dreams with every cruel step.

As I looked at that pale blue sky above our bed, the pictures in my mind were becoming more and more pale too.

As soon as my husband had made our plans, I started thinking about the cupcakes I would choose – hopefully from Gigi’s which is right off an exit along the way to our destination for the weekend. I would think about the shooting range there and what kind of handgun we would choose this time. I had even looked at the menu for Palio’s, the restaurant at which we had dinner reservations.

An acquaintance from my high school days writes a couple of fashion blogs. Some of her early March photo shoots had been in Grand Rapids. I was excited looking at those photos thinking about how we’d be “right there” in just a few weeks time.

My husband had recently told me that he thought it was kind of fascinating that I had become interested in getting a handgun so, around my birthday, we were going to purchase one. The shooting ranges had been closed, but, before shelter in place orders, the gun dealers had remained open. My husband had told me that getting a gun would have to wait too though, because people were panic buying.

As a woman with a libertarian ideology, I am a strong supporter of the Second Amendment, however, there is quite a difference between panic buying toilet paper and panic buying a gun.

It was two years ago while I was on winter break as an employee of a local community college that my husband and I took a trip a bit south to find some warmth and sunshine. He asked me if I had ever fired a handgun, and I said no. So we went to Point Blank, rented a 22, and shot a few rounds.

For two years I had been pondering and looking into actually getting a handgun and obtaining a CPL. Now random people who ran out of toilet paper to hoard are in search of firearms…whatever. Maybe we’ll get a better price once this is all over, since almost everyone who wanted one should already have one.

For anyone who is vehemently opposed to guns, don’t panic. The process for purchasing a gun still remains intact, and the process for being able to legally carry a handgun is also intact, and quite complex – and fairly pricey. It has also been put entirely on hold in states with shelter in place orders, and even before, since no one can attend a CPL class.

No one can attend anything.

So alas, it is not meant to be – my birthday weekend has been cancelled. There will be no cupcakes, no opportunity to dress to go to dinner, and no shooting range for my birthday this year.

Hopefully I will have the opportunity to enjoy birthdays again in the future. What saddens me more is those opportunities that once missed are forever lost.

Colleges and universities changed their plans early on. I had checked with my nephew, a student at University of Northwest Ohio (UNOH), to see if he had heard anything definitive after his second to last session before graduation had been shortened, then completely cancelled. The answer that the students received after UNOH had sorted things out was that the next session would begin on April 6th with gen ed classes being offered entirely online.

Fortunately my nephew was – or is, kind of still – attending UNOH to get a degree in automotive technology and had just finished his core classes. He now has only one session left and has only gen ed classes left. He had said to me that day, “I never thought that Thursday would be my last day at college.”

Sessions cancelled; semesters interrupted; championship meets and games cancelled – entire collegiate competition seasons cancelled; K-12 schools closed; Girls on the Run programs on hold, with ever-fading hopes that their 5ks will happen still; the class of 2020 wondering how their senior year will end; weddings on hold, the pieces of broken dreams are likely to pile up to a number that would astound anyone who would care to count.

I know that people have passed away. I too have heard that in some hospital systems, even within our state, things are very rough. We are made fully aware of the gruesome and dark details daily.

What we might not think about so much are the shining moments missed.

The last week that we had church services in person, our pastor had asked us not to judge to harshly people whose “level of fear was different from ours.” I would like to add to that wise advice and to ask us not to judge to harshly people who are grieving for their losses, however small they may seem.

Family reunions are a “maybe.” Class reunions are a “better not.” Vacations are subject to government orders and an economic situation that will continue to evolve. Baseball’s opening days have already come and gone.

I’ve seen the memes about how we worshipped professional athletes, and how we’re better without them. As I think about the summer evening drives as the sun sets, getting ice cream, and listening to baseball on the radio, I’d disagree. I will also point out that not everyone who competes is a professional athlete, far from it.

High school students and college students play for many reasons other than a pro sports contract. Yes, some of them could sign lucrative deals, but the vast majority will never get close to the life of the “worshipped.” They’ve worked hard just to compete, and suddenly their seasons are over. Young athletes, I’ve shed a tear of two for you. I know it hurts, especially if you’re a senior.

Many high school and college seniors have worked hard for their degrees and honors too. Their graduation plans and parties remain a TBD as of now.

Take the time to be angry, sad, all of the things, just keep it in perspective. Those of you who are young might think that you’re losing your “one moment in time” (my totally ’80s song reference – because I’m old), but believe me, you are likely to have many, many more stellar moments. I hope you do.

It’s not necessarily immature, selfish, or narcistic for a person to experience some grief for the things that they have lost or might lose. It’s human. Hopefully, God-willing, we will not lose loved ones, but we will each lose something to this crisis.

I’m disappointed about my birthday. Not having a driver’s license, my life is somewhat of a quarantined life, especially during winter. I was so looking forward to getting out of here and seeing and doing different things. But I’ve baked my cake and put it in the freezer to decorate the day before my birthday. We’ll have something nice for dinner. I’ve got a few cards and a gift to open. It’ll be…well, it’ll be March 29, 2020.

I agree with a friend who will also “celebrate” a shelter in place birthday; this one doesn’t count.

I’m planning to make up for it with a fabulous New Year’s Eve party at our house. I’ve already invited a few people – seriously. We’ll have plenty of food, fun, hugs – no 6 foot rules. And how do I know that, one might ask – especially now. I don’t, but I certainly have hope.

The Listener Speaks

Recently, but prior to the COVID-19 crisis, I saw a meme that said, “It used to be that the media reported the news, and we had to form an opinion based on the reports. Now the media tells us their opinion, and we have to figure out if the events actually happened or not.”

If you’ve read many of my blog posts, especially of late, you know that I do hold political positions, though not die-hard political affiliations. I work to be an informed member of society. It has always taken some work, but I believe it takes more work now than perhaps in times past.

That being said, politics as a topic bores me. I have rarely watched a State of the Union address, and I have likely never watched one from beginning to end, regardless of who was Commander in Chief.

In the past week, I have spent more time watching news conferences held by the President of the United States (POTUS) than I have likely spent listening to or reading about politics over the last several years.

Why?

It’s not because I am obsessed with the coronavirus. I have concerns like everyone else, and I have questions like everyone else. But I know those concerns can only be addressed to the extent that I take the measures that are within my power to take, and my most pressing questions, like many of yours, really have no answers right now.

I follow Vice President Mike Pence on Twitter so, more often now, when I get those notifications that indicate that a press conference is taking place, I watch on my phone. I watch so that I can hear what the POTUS has said for myself, so that I don’t have to read what Daily Wire said, or what MSNBC said that NBC said that he said.

As I have watched the press conferences, I’ve been somewhat fascinated with the media members who are present and asking questions. Though I have not watched every minute of every press conference, I’ve started to recognize those who are frequently in attendance, perhaps members of the White House press corps, and to recognize patterns among certain members of the media.

Some of the patterns I’ve noticed fall among age lines, interestingly enough. The older members of the press seem to ask questions based on what they have just heard, and sometimes based on things that they have likely researched in advance of the press conference. Their questions indicate to me that they are listening and are able to quickly formulate ideas that lead them to further questions.

The younger reporters seem to be asking questions that are more leading, sometimes accusatory, and even divisive as was the case in today’s press conference.

Ater the President challenged a reporter based on the tone and intent of his questions, both he and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo were asked about their right to challenge or to chastise the media. Secretary Pompeo simply dismissed the journalist who had asked him by saying something to the affect of, “Is there a question?”

As a former member of the staff of a local newspaper, I am familiar with the concept of journalistic integrity. I know little about Mike Pompeo, though I am aware that some people sincerely dislike him. Regardless, I believe that Pompeo was entirely correct when, asked again about the message that the POTUS was sending to the world with his “calling out” an American journalist, Pompeo said that it is the responsibility of the media to listen to what is being said and to report it to the American people as accurately as possible.

Members of the media have a responsibility to do exactly that, to report the facts as they are presented, unless that person is writing an opinion piece that is clearly denoted as such.

It does not matter how much the members of the media like the person with whom they are interacting, how much they support or oppose the issues they are covering, or how different they think things should look. They have the right to their private affiliations, opinions, and voting practices. But when acting in their roles as journalists, they have one job to do.

The responsibility does not fall entirely on the journalists. With so many media outlets the competition to be first or most recognized has led to unethical behaviors: sensationalism, click-bait headlines, “gotcha” questions that lead to “lies” revealed. These journalists, the young and aspiring especially, fall into line with the culture of their employers. In today’s environment, journalistic integrity can be a career hazard.

As a person who writes a blog post to an audience of perhaps 25 and does freelance work as the opportunity arises, I may seem bitter. On the contrary, it has never been my aspiration to sit in the White House press corps. It has always been my desire to make a difference in my corner of the world. Certainly I would like my writing to be more a part of that, but I have found other ways through which I can accomplish that mission.

People often correctly say that we should be careful to get information from reliable sources, especially in times of crisis. Some journalists today took exception to the President’s insinuation that some of them may not be reliable sources of information. His comments, his reactions, and his response to this crisis in general are topics for a different time.

My point in this blog post is that we have a great deal of power over what information we accept as reliable. Whether in a time of crisis or not, we need to be discerning. We need to be curious. We need to be critical thinkers.

Those who employ journalists should have expectations of them. The journalists should have expectations of themselves. Whether they do or not, we should have expectations of journalists.

Those who sit as members of the White House press corps, or have been granted access through other avenues, are expected to be among the most talented in their field. Talent alone does not tell the entire story of the worth of a person’s work. If members of the media cannot put aside their personal agendas, especially during a crisis such as this, and find their integrity, they likely have little if any to find.

“Those” People

You know who they are. You’re certain of it.

After all, you’ve been told who they are, what they believe, how they think. They’re “those” people, the people who aren’t like you.

They might look different than you do, or they might not. They might live on the other side of town, or they might be your neighbors.

At this point in our country’s history, “those” people aren’t necessarily people of differing skin color, different religious affiliations, or even different sexual orientations, but they are actually those people who vote differently than you do.

They are the leftist arrogant, entitled, socialist, communists, crisis-conjuring millennials who want to undo everything that has led to the success of this country.

They are the conservative, right wing, bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, racist, and ignorant people who wish to see the country regress by at least 50 years.

Hyperbole anyone?

Though the majority of the animus seems to be leveled against the conservative voters or the central voters, it is still the case that some of it is leveled against those who would consider themselves to be liberals.

These are the kinds of labels that are being fed to people in this country, who are willing to bite, by the media in particular, especially as it relates to anyone who has not pledged their allegiance to defeating the incumbent President by any means necessary.

The sad fact is, not only are people throwing the given labels at strangers on social media sites or in news “Comments” sections, but now they are also tossing out labels in regards to people who they know personally.

Not possible you might think. But it is. It has recently happened within our social circle. As we, my husband and I, tend to be people who truly do adhere to the “live and let live” principle, and as we choose to be informed voters who have not pledged loyalty to any political party, we have maintained friendships with a variety of people. We enjoy those interactions.

We’ve entered a time though when it seems less and less likely that people of differing points of view seem to be able to maintain friendships. Some of the people in our group of friends have taken to tossing about the media generated labels of racist, bigot, homophobe, and anti-abortionist after people within the group, whom they have known for decades, declined to commit their support to the Democratic presidential candidate, who is yet to be determined by the way.

At this point, I could take this post in one of several directions. It is hurtful to discover that people who you’ve come to know and like, and perhaps to care about a great deal, can dismiss you so easily based on how they think – not even know but think – you will vote. It is maddening to think that these people should know you better yet still choose to name you among people who actually do live their lives as bigots and racists. And it is exasperating and disheartening to realize that they cannot see their own bigotry in doing so.

When you are a person who strives to remain objective, who dares to view the political situation from a perspective other than the narrative of the collective, you begin to wonder if it’s all said and done with those relationships because you are, by their definition, one of those people. Those friends have chosen to place the idea, and the value, of the collective ahead of the intrinsic value of the individual. They have made the decision that their identity as part of the appropriate collective (particularly in this university town) is more important than those individual relationships.

As I thought this through, I came to the conclusion that placing the value of the collective above the individual is likely the reason that people allow politics to destroy relationships, even long-standing ones. It becomes even more apparent when one understands that the solution to the problem of “those” people is antithetical – stop bowing to the collective, group-think, and get to know the individuals. Was it not the goal of Dr. King that individuals would be evaluated based on their character, not that the collective would be judged based on presumption.

Are all left-leaning voters entitled socialists? I doubt it. Within this social group to which I referred, one would find educated, intelligent men and women who have had successful careers, have paid taxes, and have made responsible choices that have led them to be able to live the bountiful lives they now enjoy. Sounds more like capitalist, conservatives. But not all of them vote that stereotypical way. We are fine with those perceived contradictions, yet we don’t all seem to be offered the same courtesy.

If, and when, liberals have actually challenged themselves to interact with and to get to know people who aren’t from the coasts and didn’t live like, think like, or vote like they did, they found that the majority of the people they encountered were not the ignorant bigots they were cast as being.

Evan Mandery is professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York and the author of several book including both novels and works of non-fiction. Concerned by and curious about the deep division that evolved after the 2016 election, he chose to leave his classroom in New York for Boone, North Carolina. His search to teach an ethics class in the south led him to Appalachian State University

Mandery, a self-described “liberal New Yorker,” summarized his experience in his article in Politico Magazine: “I left my experience at App with a richer understanding of Southern conservatives and libertarians, but more significantly with great optimism, even exuberance, about the untapped potential of the experiences that teach people how to talk productively about their differences. Even after a career spent moderating conversations on controversial issues, I learned how to listen better and was changed by the stories I heard.”

While I find Mandery’s level of curiosity to be truly admirable, it seems that the novelty of his experiment indicates that he is the exception rather than the rule.

In my experience the further left of center a person is, the more likely that person is to adhere to the theory that the value of the collective supersedes the value of the individual, the more likely they are to attach the negative labels to the collective that is not their own, and the less – much less – curious they are regarding learning about those outside of their collective.

I will acknowledge that the preceding statement is anecdotal. I would like to encounter and to have an open conversation with someone who is on the far left of center, but I expect that is somewhat unlikely given recent events even within our own circle of friends.

Is it more likely that I could have a conversation with a far left-leaning stranger while I’m lingering at a coffee shop? Would it be bigoted of me to expect that as soon as I were to reveal that I lean Libertarian I would get a latte thrown in my face? Probably.

You can read the Politico Magazine article “What Teaching Ethics in Appalachia Taught Me About Bridging America’s Partisan Divide” by Evan Mandery here: https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2019/10/13/america-cultural-divide-red-state-blue-state-228111