On Easter Sunday

It had been several years since I had actually eaten a paczki, a filled donut type of pastry said to have been concocted to use all of the baking products in a house prior to the beginning of Lent. This February, I was preparing for Lent, and I was actually excited.

On the Monday before “Fat Tuesday,” the day people eat paczkis and anything else they want before Ash Wednesday, my husband and I had visited a large Italian market. There he bought a “cannoli filling” paczki for me. After sharing the paczki, and a blueberry one, I was prepared to observe Lent again this year.

Though a Protestant Christian, I have observed Lent for several years, as we were encouraged to participate in our own ways by the pastors of the Free Methodist church where we are members.

I had high hopes for a new beginning, new direction, perhaps a renewing of my commitment to the Lord. I was excited for Easter as well. I was hoping that something amazing might happen. Even as the new year had begun, my hopeful spirit had returned, and I had sensed something big. Perhaps the arrival of a new decade, as well as a new year, had given me that sense.

I could never have imagined that the “something big” would be a global pandemic.

We were among a group of perhaps 35 people in church’s worship center that can seat about 250 people on Sunday, March 15. As we participated in that service, I thought about Easter. The songs we sang that day started to point us in that direction. Lent is also designed to point us in the direction of Easter.

My thoughts turned to an Easter Sunday two years earlier. After having read a Lenten devotional by Tim Keller that led readers from the trials of a sin-cursed world in Genesis, to the prophets’ foretelling of a Savior, to the Gospels where we read of the final sacrifice of Christ on the cross, it was a powerful experience. I was excited to walk into church that Easter Sunday and to celebrate the risen Savior.

I had been praying since the beginning of this Lent for something like that to happen for me again this Easter.

On that last Sunday we were together in person, during his prayer our pastor had thanked God for “the brave people who came here today, and for those who are watching at home. (He) believes each person is where God wants them to be today.” I was indeed feeling brave, hopeful, and confident on that day. I knew then it was “a God thing.” I don’t know that “brave” is a word that many would use to describe me. It’s not a word I would use to describe myself.

But as this crisis wears on, as emergency “shelter in place” orders continue, and as numbers of the confirmed cases continue to rise – even as one would expect with expanded testing, my bravery has at times turned to anxiety, my hope to despondence, and my confidence to desperation.

In 1 Corinthians 15:13 & 14 Paul told the church that if there was no resurrection then his preaching was in vain, and their faith and their hope – and our faith and our hope – was in vain. But in verse 20, he reaffirmed that Christ was indeed raised from the dead.

Through my Lenten studies and through my pray time, I sense that God is asking me if I truly believe there was a resurrection.

It was easy on that Easter Sunday two years ago as I walked into our church with joyous expectation. The day was beautiful. The praise team was excellent. Spirits were high as we celebrated our resurrected Savior, with no thought that life’s normal could be torn away from us like it has been these past few weeks.

It’s when just living life gets difficult that we have to turn to the living hope. 1 Peter 1:3 says: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to his great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

I’ve liked the Phil Wickham song “Living Hope” since I first heard it. “The work is finished. The end is written Jesus Christ my living hope.”

It was very dark in this world when the religious leaders who had sought to kill Jesus succeeded via the Roman government. But Jesus Christ changed the course of human history when he stepped out of the grave three days later, giving hope to the world then and for the rest of time.

With things looking as dark as they do in our world right now, hope can be hard to find. Still I’ve been praying that Christ will bring hope to the world once again in some wonderful way this Easter. We expect that we will not be able to worship together in our churches, but only God knows what will actually happen on Easter 2020. Regardless, we know what happened over 2000 years ago.

“Then came the morning that sealed the promise. Your buried body began to breathe. Out of the silence, the Roaring Lion declared the grave has no claim on me. Jesus yours is the victory! Jesus Christ, my living hope….”